The clock is ticking, Glenn. When will you have the mother of all televised breakdowns? When it happens, noble viewers, you will find out HERE first.
So go ahead, Glenn. Do it! Do it!
Photographer Jill Greenberg has gotten in trouble for her political photos, such as the one of John McCain above and to the right. Here, however, Beck happily plays along. Now, if a liberal commentator came along and constantly broke down in his tears - how might that be received?
Comedian Glenn Beck has gotten in touch with his inner emo kid, renewing the mission of the Glenn Beck Blubber Watch by posting a series of mopey, depressing, and self-flagellating Tweets onto his Twitter page.
Masochistically, I "follow" Glenn Beck's Twitter account. Last night, the night of June 2, 2009, he came off the first stop of his "Common Sense" comedy tour, and posted the following lachrymal tweets. Remember that you read tweets from the bottom-to-top, in order of chronology, and not from the top down.
Mercury Radio Arts is the New York based production company owned by Radio and TV host Glenn Beck.
Mercury seeks a writer for contributions to Glenn’s radio program, magazine, and web site. The ideal candidate will have a strong interest in news, current events, and politics.
Key responsibilities will include contributing original content to GlennBeck.com and to Glenn’s radio program and magazine. Writing will include a mix of short pieces and long articles, fact-based commentary on the news of the day, etc.
Requirements:
• Strong written and verbal communication skills • Research skills • At least 2 years of journalism experience
Let me quote this out of context very briefly, from the pen of Glenn Beck, man of letters:
“I thought that one day, I would just wake up and realize it was just a stupid fling . . just innocent experimentation... I thought that if I admitted the love I had been hiding, society would reject me . . . .”
“It all started one day when I was twelve . . . That's when I found my true love . . . I had looked this person's way a few times and got that nervous feeling in my stomach – but I had been taught that this love was forbidden.”
“Then came the fair . . . my hand brushed this person's . . . my palms began to sweat . . . my hands began to shake . . . the Ferris wheel came to a complete stop.”
“I looked deeply into this person's eyes, and reached out to softly touch this person's face. I leaned in and I kissed this person.”
“I kissed my sister. First our lips met, seconds later our tongues. I ran my fingers through her silky hair and felt her soft skin. It was the height of passion and the moment I knew who my true love was . . . We knew we had done something so wrong, but at the same time, something so very right.”
In context: Glenn spins this fantasy scenario - something he likes to do on his show, if you haven't noticed - in his book The Real America: Messages from the Heart and Heartland to demonstrate why being gay is wrong. Yep, that's what it's for.
Beck has three books planned for this year, including "Arguing With Idiots," a nonfiction hardcover book; an audiobook called "America's March to Socialism"; and an e-book/paperback channeling of Thomas Paine, "Glenn Beck's Common Sense."
A reader of the San Antonio News writes to contest the notion that their town's tea party, which had Glenn Beck and several FOX News jumbotron screens, and which was also attended by Gov. Rick Perry, was not grassroots:
Once Glenn Beck, the Fox TV commentator, announced he was coming, we were overwhelmed. Beck put us in touch with experienced people whose services were either paid for by us or donated. Beck also did a fund-raising lunch for us, but the concerned public paid for it all.
So, Beck comes into town and puts organizers in touch with people that they can pay to conduct their tea party.
It gets better:
We couldn't use the Fox stage and even covered the costs of the Jumbotrons Fox News used.
...
FOX News, I have to hand it to you. You promote an event for weeks on TV, show up with all your equipment, and then ask attendees to pay to use it. Then they say it is "grassroots." If that's not a novel approach to doing business, I'm not sure what is. GRASSROOTS FTW!
There is a new Slate piece on the impact and the appeal of Glenn Beck HERE.
It's essentially a bio of Beck, detailing his morning zoo/shock jock days and how that translated, via CNN of all places, into the current FOX News coup. There are some links to some good YouTube clips, but nothing like you would have found here. :)
The Tennessean ran an article that openly wondered: Why does anyone watch Glenn Beck?
Beck is appointment television for Robert Lehman, a stay-at-home dad who lives in Wichita, Kan. He's a regular even though he's a Democrat who considers Beck a "nut."
"It's very difficult to describe why you watch him," Lehman said. "But it is captivating. It's an interesting show and it moves very quickly."
Lehman had it right in the first quoted paragraph:
The Tennessean continues:
Except for Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity, Beck has more viewers than any other cable news show, and he's on at a time many people are at work.
GLENN BECK: [I]f you don't think that some of these Marxist revolutionary courses that are being taught out in California, the Marxist revolutionary influences in our own unions, in our own businesses, in our own uh, you know, protests out in the streets -- if you think those are spontaneously happening by Americans, you're an idiot.
Yes, you're an idiot if you don't know that Marxists and foreigners are behind "protests out in the streets" in America. But ... are these excluding or including the protests Glenn Beck is involved in...? Let me guess!
BECK: You know, I talked to the governor earlier today, and I don't know how popular or not popular he is here, but I tell you, his words ring true to an awful lot of people not just in Texas, but I think a lot of people all around the country. There are movements -- they've taken the original documents between James Madison and Thomas Jefferson, and in several states, I believe it's 23 now, they are passing this in their legislature, which says you don't have any more rights in the Constitution than those that are outlined, and federal government, you need to back off. VAN SUSTEREN: You know, from here, Glenn, listening to Governor Perry last night and watching your crowd and listening to the things that are coming out of Texas -- I don't want to be too dramatic, but it almost seems like Texas is going to secede from the rest of the nation. BECK: I mean, I don't know (INAUDIBLE) can we get this (INAUDIBLE) back here? This is on the jib (ph) back over here. This says, Texas independence. Greta, what most people don't understand is I lived in Texas for about four years, and I have to tell you, when you first come down to Texas, you're, like, OK, the boots and the hats and the horns on the car on the car, and within -- within a year, you want the boots and the hats and the horns on your car. And the reason is -- correct me if I'm wrong -- these people love America. They just think Texas does America best!
Texas news station WFAA reported: "Fox News talk-show host Glenn Beck is broadcasting from the Alamo in San Antonio, where rocker Ted Nugent will perform the national anthem."
The crowd here was excited to see the live broadcast of the Glenn Beck Show. Beck is the suddenly popular Fox News commentator who, depending on who you ask, is either the symptom or the salvation of a sick society. "He don't sugar coat the truth," Jim White, a native south Texan said. "Oh my god, oh my god, there he is! I love Glenn Beck!" a woman in a U.S. Marine Corps t-shirt yelled as she ran towards the cable news celebrity.
You will read the following and think to yourself, "Surely this must be an Onion article?" And then a little part of you will die inside when you click the link below and realize that no, no it is not an Onion article.
Fox's Glenn Beck announces comedy tour By DAVID BAUDER Sun Apr 12, 10:56 am ET
NEW YORK – Glenn Beck, Fox News Channel's latest sensation, is taking a comedy show on the road for six live performances over six days during the first week of June.
Beck calls his act a "poor man's Seinfeld" and intends to mix topical humor with his modern-day reimagining of Thomas Paine's 1776 pamphlet "Common Sense."
The last Glenn Beck Blubber Watch post reminded readers how Glenn Beck had - according to his own televised admission - become suicidal after having surgery on his hemorrhoids. Beck referred to this as his "ass surgery" on TV.
Now conservative radio host Michael Savage says he is butt hurt, too. But it's because he feels Glenn Beck - whom Savage refers to as the "hemorrhoid with eyes" - has plagiarized his shtick:
Savage also suspects Beck will have an on-air meltdown any day. Maybe he reads this blog? :)
Why do conservative commentators always end up having medical issues with their bums?
Columnist and Bush White House press secretary Tony Snow contracted colon cancer. Rush Limbaugh got out of Vietnam by having his private doctor tell the Army he had an anal cyst. And Glenn Beck, too, had what he referred to on his show as "ass surgery."
Gawker has video of a bedridden Glenn recounting his eye-opening, traumatic hinder surgery, which he says caused him to reflect on "the real meaning of compassion."
The most dramatic part of the monologue in the Gawker video starts at about 3:54. It is here.
"I had one of the darker moments of my life. And I've, you know, had some pretty dark times. [Bawww?] .. This stuff took me into places that, uh, started on Thursday ... and by Sunday night I was, uh, full-fledged suicidal. [Bawww?] And if they had come in Saturday night with a handgun and told me I could have taken more medicine or blown my brains out, I would have just taken the handgun. And ended it."
Paranoid conservatives: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Glenn nobly soldiers on under the oppressive communist regime under which we all now live, rallying his, uh, "troops." "From all across the political spectrum." Riiigght.
This includes Chuck Norris.
Indeed, notice how Glenn almost loses his shit exactly after they show Chuck Norris on live camera.
Anyway, this is the closest Glenn has come to having a full-fledged televised meltdown. Get out your popcorn. Once Glenn has his total meltdown -- and it's only a matter of time -- this blog will call it a day.
Does Glenn Beck really get all choked up with sentimentality when he starts to lose his shit on air, or is it a manipulative, evangelical, Jimmy Swaggart kind of thing?
The Young Turks debated this recently. I am with host Cenk Uygur; I think Beck's quavering displays are emotion are real. His co-host does not.
Beck: "I made a promise to [the missing girl's] father. However, I had to break that promise. Because I am working at a network [FOX?] that will follow through on that story. I am not a journalist. I'm just a guy who cares - BAWWWW! - I'm sorry. I'm just a guy who cares an awful lot about my country!"
Not to worry: no one thinks you're a journalist, Glenn. And if anyone reading this can decipher what he said above, get in touch!